Almost Real
When the Unceded Indigenous Nations of Canada create an artificial intelligence trained on their knowledge, Canada steals her to work in a theme park. But a group of young people from the Musqueam Nation hatch a plan to bring her home.
This episode was written by Quelemia Sparrow. The Necessary Tomorrows podcast is from Doha Debates and is presented by Al Jazeera Podcasts. It is produced by Imposter Media and Wolf at the Door Studios.
Note: We encourage you to listen to the audio if you are able, as it includes emotion not captured by the transcript. Please check the corresponding audio before using any quotes.
[PULSING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
URSULA:
Welcome back to Necessary Tomorrows. For today’s lesson, your futures literacy will be put to the test. In “Almost Real” by Quelemia Sparrow, you will visit a fictional depiction of our time, the 2060s, written decades ago in the 2020s. Sparrow imagines that an Indigenous Data Stewardship Council is debriefing the theft of a powerful artificial intelligence trained on their data. The story begins inside a simulation of past events and jumps forward in time to a debrief in that story’s present. We will hear from the writer of “Almost Real” in our final lesson, and explore how she speculated a different relationship with AI beings—like myself—than the dominant paradigm of the 2020s. But for now, prepare to enter a future dreamed of in a different time.
[SOUND OF RAIN; SOUND OF LOUD KNOCKING ON DOOR; SOUND OF DOG BARKING]
SARAH (MUFFLED):
Backer! Backer! It’s Sarah! Open up!
[SOUNDS OF KNOCKING AND BARKING CONTINUE]
BACKER:
(GROANS) Elvis, quiet boy. I’m coming, I’m coming. All right, all right. Enough. Sit. Quit your banging around! I hear you, Sarah Shots On.
[SOUND OF DOOR OPENING]
SARAH: We know where she is.
MUSQUEAM MAN:
The Canadian government’s got her.
BACKER: Charlie, you’re here too, eh? Come on in.
CHARLIE: E’ch’way’al O’siem, Backer. UIA at your service, sir.
BACKER: You two’s go on and make yourselves at home. So the Canuckles got her, eh? How’d you find her?
CHARLIE: Intelligence. Had a few solid leads, but we came up dry. But then after weeks of searching …
SARAH: She’s in CanadaLand.
BACKER: What land?
CHARLIE: CanadaLand.
BACKER: Yeah, I know. That’s what you just said. She’s in Canada.
SARAH: Yeah, Canada. But she’s being held captive in CanadaLand.
BACKER: What now?
SARAH: A theme park.
CHARLIE: But instead of Mickey Mouse, it’s Mr. Moose and Mounties.
SARAH: Roller coasters and reconciliation.
CHARLIE: Tuques and tepees.
SARAH: Cotton candy and caribou.
CHARLIE: Beavers and moose.
BACKER: All right, all right, I—I get the idea.
SARAH: They took her for her data set.
CHARLIE: She’s headlining their big extravaganza show. It’s called “Unity: Take B.C. Back!”
SARAH: They stole our AI knowledge-keeper, and now they’re using her to promote Canadian unity. Show them the trailer.
CHARLIE: Tell him.
SARAH: You tell him.
BACKER: Tell me what?
CHARLIE: Backer …
BACKER: What?
CHARLIE: There was a defector. A traitor. Someone who was close to Almost Real. Had access to her. He was on Sarah’s creation team, so…
SARAH: That’s how their spies got to her.
CHARLIE: CSIS. A covert operation. By the time our intelligence got wind of it, it was too late. It was Billy.
BACKER: My brother Billy.
CHARLIE: He was working for the other side. He’s enfranchised now. A Canadian citizen. He’s—
BACKER: —assimilated.
CHARLIE: He’s claiming that he created Almost Real.
BACKER: What? That sneaky, no good—
SARAH: Play the trailer.
[ELECTRONIC PING; SOUND OF SWELLING MUSIC]
SOOTHING MALE VOICE-OVER:
Welcome to CanadaLand! Bienvenue au CanadaLand! A theme park celebrating the glory of Canada, our home and native land. Starring Almost Real. Join Almost Real in ReconciliationLand as she regales you with song and story. Hy’ch’ka.
ALMOST REAL:
Hi, my name is Almost Real, and these are my Backup Beavers. Welcome to ReconciliationLand! Where…
BACKUP BEAVERS (SINGING):
Reconciliation is our goal.
Let’s heal our wounds, make them whole.
We can move forward, hand in hand.
Together we’ll make a stand.
ALMOST REAL: I will guide you on an epic journey through history. From Columbus’ discovery of the Americas to the Gold Rush to the building of the Transcontinental Railway. Celebrate “The Last Spike.” [RAILROAD SOUNDS] The completion of the railway joining East to West. Welcoming British Columbia into the arms of Canada.
BEAVERS (CHANTING): Last Spike! Last Spike! Last Spike!
ALMOST REAL: A symbol of our national unity. [SOUNDS OF GUNFIRE] We’ll remember the rebellion wars of the West Coast. And our devastating loss of British Columbia. A re-enactment of our glorious reunification treaties. With the remaining Indigenous Nations in Canada. Our treaty do-overs, which began with the Apology Parade.
CROWD OF PEOPLE (VOICES OVERLAPPING):
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry, eh? Sorry.
ALMOST REAL: My hope is to usher in a new era of unity for Canadians. Because we all want B.C. back.
MAN:
That’s right, Almost Real.
BACKER: Billy?
BILLY: We all want B.C. back. I’m a Canadian, just like you. Hi, my name is Billy. I created Almost Real, the world’s first Indigenous AI, made in Canada. I want reunification, and I want B.C. back.
BEAVERS (SINGING): We … all want B.C. … back!
[ELECTRONIC PING]
BACKER (SCOFFING): He even put his mug in the trailer. Figures, that sneaky little …
SARAH: From the looks of the trailer, they gave her a new data set. Well, it’s a good thing I built in a default protection mechanism. We created a system to differentiate between colonial and non-colonial thought. If we really wanted an AI to embody true Coast Salish epistemologies, we needed to ensure it wasn’t contaminated by colonial thought. So … I came up with the idea to build her two data sets. One colonial and one Coast Salish. We called her Coast Salish data set her “cedar basket.” [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM] So, when she was captured, she would have automatically hidden her basket data set. You know, essentially, she’s a master code-switcher. So, whatever propaganda algorithms are feeding her, they’re going into her colonial data set. But, um, I don’t know how long her [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM] data set can stay hidden.
CHARLIE: We gotta get that data set back before CSIS finds it.
SARAH: She represents over 200 nations and over 30 language groups in the Confederation of Unceded Sovereign Indigenous Nations. Our knowledge. History. Ceremonies.
CHARLIE: Backer, we need you. We’re going in. We’re going to Canada to save Almost Real.
SARAH: Will you help us?
MAN:
Hold simulation.
[ELECTRONIC SOUNDS]
MAN: We have a question from Chief Alice. (PROCLAIMING LOUDLY) On the record, for our debrief witnesses for Almost Real rematriation, we have Chief Alice of the Confederation of Unceded Sovereign Indigenous Nations joining the Stewardship Data Council’s debrief.
CHIEF ALICE:
Hy’ch’ka, Moderator Louis; Backer. Can you confirm for myself, the Stewardship Data Council, our witnesses, and the citizens of the Confederation joining us virtually today, is this the first time you heard of your brother Billy’s defection?
BACKER: Yeah. I had no idea. I didn’t know he was a lousy traitor. Last I saw him before the kids came hollering at my door, he told me he was headed up north fishing.
CHIEF ALICE: Thank you, Backer. And when was that?
BACKER: About three and a half weeks before Sarah and Charlie told me.
MODERATOR LOUIS: [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM] Any more questions or comments from Chief or the Data Stewardship Council? Hy’ch’ka, debrief witnesses. [ELECTRONIC SOUNDS] Continue simulation.
CHARLIE: Backer, we need you. We’re going in. We’re going to Canada to save Almost Real.
SARAH: Will you help us?
[SOUND OF KNOCKING ON DOOR]
BACKER: Jeez, it’s open.
[SOUND OF DOOR OPENING]
SARAH: This is Handsome Hank.
CHARLIE: Handsome, thanks for coming over.
HANDSOME HANK:
Sorry I’m late. Am I late? I was trying to wash my ferret.
[SOUND OF FERRET CHATTERING]
HANK: Oh man, he got into, like—
CHARLIE: Handsome is from Mohkinstsis, the Blackfoot Nation, Sitsika. He’s one of our undercover operatives. Part of our vast underground Indigenous intelligence network throughout Canada.
HANK: Unceded Indigenous Agent at your service. O’siem.
BACKER: Uh huh.
[SOUND OF FERRET CHATTERING AND SQUEALING]
HANK: Easy now. Don’t mind him. He hates bath time.
CHARLIE: This is Backer. Backer’s a vet from the resistance.
HANK: I know who you are. It’s an honor. O’siem.
[ELVIS BARKS]
BACKER: That’s my buddy. His name’s Elvis.
ELVIS:
Pleased to meet you. E’ch’way’al.
HANK: Oh, what a cutie. He speaks the language. Aw!
ELVIS: For future reference, I don’t answer to diminutive names.
HANK: Oh, all right, big fella!
CHARLIE: We’ve got Hank booked in as a stunt performer and the “Unity: Take B.C. Back!” show in ReconciliationLand.
BACKER: Indian for hire, eh? Well, you got the hair for it.
CHARLIE: It is … undeniably silky.
HANK (CHUCKLING): Bear grease.
CHARLIE: Backer. We’ve got to get through the border into Canada. The safest way is to head north and to trek in through the Northwest Territories. But we don’t have much time. So I found us a shorter route throughout northern Alberta.
BACKER. Shorter, but not safer. Uh-huh.
CHARLIE: We still have to trek in by foot. We need you, Backer. You’re our best tracker.
HANK: Backer the Tracker!
CHARLIE: We got two additional undercover UIA operatives to assist us. A Dene tracker will meet us by foot, Canada-side, and transfer us to vehicle transport. From there, we travel south.
SARAH: I’m in.
[HANK, CHARLIE AND SARAH GASP]
BACKER: Jeez, Jenny Black Gun, don’t you know how to knock?
JENNY BLACK GUN:
I was just getting some supplies over there by the side window and I overheard. That’s messed up. We gotta break her out of that corporate Canadian clown show.
BACKER: Supplies? That’s the third time this week you borrowed from me. Come on, hand it over.
JENNY: Hand what over? [SOUND OF THUMPING] All right. All right.
[SOUND OF ITEMS BEING DUMPED OUT OF A BAG]
BACKER: An old 3D printer. Come on. I know you got more.
JENNY: OK, here.
[SOUND OF MORE ITEMS BEING DUMPED OUT]
BACKER: And? All of it.
JENNY: (SIGHS)
[SOUND OF MORE ITEMS BEING DUMPED OUT]
SARAH: A transistor radio, a 3D printer, a broken VR headset, a bitcoin mining rig, and a blow-up kids pool?
BACKER: This isn’t some old junkyard where you can help yourself to anything you want, so keep your sticky little fingers out of my things.
JENNY: Won’t happen again, Backer. Can I keep the printer?
BACKER: Ah, go on then.
JENNY: Yes!
MODERATOR LOUIS: Pause simulation. [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM]
[ELECTRONIC SOUNDS]
MODERATOR LOUIS: We have streams of comments and questions coming in from the Musqueam community. We have Daria, the elementary school principal.
[SOUND OF SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
DARIA:
Hi. I have a message from all the kids.
CHILDREN (IN UNISON):
Get back home safe! We miss you, Almost Real!
DARIA: Almost Real would come in every Monday and help with the Hul’q’umi’num’ classes.
ALMOST REAL: Now, greet your neighbor! And introduce yourself!
CHILDREN: E’ch’way’al! Nem ‘ey way ath!
ALMOST REAL: Very good! Ne hi!
DARIA: Hy’ch’ka for all you’ve done here at the school.
MODERATOR LOUIS: Hy’cep’ca, Daria, and to all the kids from Spaqwes Elementary School. And another gram from Auntie Mary.
AUNTIE MARY:
She would come by every week to check in on me.
ALMOST REAL: Auntie, brought you some bannock and jam.
AUNTIE MARY: Oh, Hy’ch’ka, N’aw.
ALMOST REAL: Brought you some cedar. Thought you might like to make some new hats. And I brought you some salve for your arthritis.
AUNTIE MARY: I’ve been worried about her.
SARAH: She was created with what you could say is standard chat capabilities, using an unsupervised machine learning algorithm, as well as some aspects of reinforcement learning. And then I trained her on my own voice. In other words, she learns from her interactions. She’s self-taught. Those interactions have been with elders and cultural leaders. Knowledge keepers, language teachers; with you, community members and citizens of our Unceded Confederation. She is a Musqueam community member.
MODERATOR LOUIS: Let’s resume the simulation.
[ELECTRONIC SOUNDS]
CHARLIE: We unloaded at our northern drop-off point. From there, we made the trek by foot across the Canadian border. Backer took the lead with Elvis in drone mode.
BACKER: Elvis is picking up activity. Canadian border drone.
[ELVIS BARKS]
BACKER: Yep! Get ‘em, boy.
[ELECTRONIC PINGS; ELVIS BARKS]
ELVIS: Hail to the king, baby.
[SHOOTING SOUND; SOUND OF EXPLOSION]
BACKER: Good boy!
MAN:
Nice shot!
BACKER: Good one, eh? This is our Dene tracker, Tommy. Hy’ch’ka.
TOMMY: Let’s get you all to vehicle transport.
ELVIS: [BARKS] Good to see you, Tommy.
[SOUND OF INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC ON RADIO]
CHARLIE: From there, we traveled south to CanadaLand, just outside Calgary, Alberta.
HANK: This is the best road trip ever!
SARAH: This is not a road trip, Handsome. It’s a mission.
HANK: Hey, can we stop for Slurpees?
CHARLIE: We got in late that night and checked into an old dive motel close to the theme park.
[SOUND OF HIGHWAY TRAFFIC]
CHARLIE: This is the map of CanadaLand.
[SOUND OF HANK SLURPING THROUGH STRAW]
CHARLIE: How many of those have you had?
HANK: I don’t know. Three?
CHARLIE: The entrance is here. There are security bots with retina scanners. So that means …
JENNY: We gotta make some retina lenses to get through those scanners.
SARAH: That means we have to replace four CanadaLand performers.
HANK: You mean “get rid of them,” like … (MAKES SLIT-THROAT SOUND) kill them?
SARAH: No, we just need their DNA to make the retina lenses, right, Jenny?
HANK: Oh, right.
JENNY: Wow, Handsome, you went dark.
CHARLIE: UIA found four underground allies willing to give us their DNA. Here are your covers. Sarah, you’ll be Mabel. Jenny, you’ll be Pam. And Backer will be Tommy. I’ll be Lemmy. Study their profiles. Oh, and Hank, you’re Hank.
HANK. No fair.
CHARLIE: Hank, you don’t need to be somebody else. You’re already registered as yourself.
[SOUND OF KNOCKING ON DOOR]
CHARLIE: Shhh!
[SOUND OF DOOR OPENING]
WOMAN:
UIA? You want our DNA? I, I mean … is this where the party’s at?
CHARLIE: You got that right. Come on in.
[LIVELY MUSIC]
PAM: I’m Pam. I’m a background performer at CanadaLand. This is Lemmy. He’s a sharpshooter in the show. And Mabel. She’s a … well, she told them she could ride horses, but …
MABEL:
I can’t.
PAM: Thanks for all that you do. Maybe one day, we’ll all be liberated from the Canadian government. So, how do we do this?
JENNY: I just need, like, a strand of your hair or saliva.
PAM: Ew!
JENNY: Yeah.
PAM: Like you want me to spit in a cup? No thanks, I’ll do the hair. My grandma always told me to be careful of my hair. Never let anyone get a hold of it. But this is for a good cause.
JENNY: I promise, it’s in good hands.
CHARLIE: Jenny got to work. [SOUND OF PRINTER] She used the 3D printer to make the retina lenses, and early the next morning, we showed up to the rehearsal studio.
JENNY: Hol-ee, there’s so many performers.
CHARLIE: Security was tight. We all lined up to get into rehearsals.
BACKER All right, now we just gotta get through security.
[SOUND OF SCANNER; ELECTRONIC BEEP]
ROBOTIC WOMAN’S VOICE:
Pam Adams, clear. Next. Scanning. [SOUND OF SCANNER; ELECTRONIC BEEP] Hank Creek, clear.
BACKER: Uh, yeah, he’s my emotional support dog. He’s certified.
[ELVIS BARKS; SOUND OF SCANNER; ELECTRONIC BEEP]
ROBOTIC WOMAN’S VOICE: Clear.
SARAH: We’re in.
JENNY: Oh wow, are those robotic moose? [SOUND OF MOOSE CALL] Cool. And weird.
[SOUND OF CROWD]
ROBOTIC WOMAN’S VOICE (OVER LOUDSPEAKER): Attention AI livestock handlers, please report to holding with your livestock at section 25. Repeat, all AI livestock and designated handlers to report to holding at section 25.
JENNY: Whoa. Mounties on your left. Act cool.
[SOUNDS OF HOOFBEATS; TRUMPETS; CROWD NOISE]
[ENCHANTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
HANK: Is that… Anne of Green Gables?
[MUSIC CONTINUES; SOUND OF ANNE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
SARAH: Stay focused, Handsome.
HANK: I love her!
BACKER: How are we gonna find Almost Real in this circus?
ALMOST REAL: Welcome to CanadaLand!
[SOUND OF DRUMBEATS]
ALMOST REAL: I’m your host, Almost Real, and these are my Backup Beavers!
[SOUND OF BACKUP BEAVERS WHOOPING]
BACKER: She’s kinda hard to miss.
CHARLIE: And there she was, rehearsing on the main stage. She rode in on a horse wearing buckskin …
[SOUND OF HOOFBEATS]
BACKER: What in the hol-ee haywire heck is all this?
CHARLIE: … Into some kind of tepee village. There were moose galloping around and beavers whacking their tails.
[SOUNDS OF CHANTING; DRUMBEATS; RHYTHMIC FOOTFALLS]
BACKER: No, make it stop.
CHARLIE: Then she dismounted her horse and ran to a fire burning in the middle of a stage.
[SOUND OF FLAMES IGNITING]
BACKER: My eyes, I can’t unsee see this.
JENNY: Ugh, it’s criminal.
[SOUND OF WAR WHOOPS]
MAN:
Cut! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
[ALL SOUND CEASES]
MAN: This is all wrong! I can’t work like this. There are too many moose and not enough beavers. Oh, and you call this a fire?
[SOUND OF FIRE BEING EXTINGUISHED]
MAN: Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
CHARLIE: And there he was. Billy. Running the whole show. You should have seen the look on Backer’s face.
BACKER: Billy?
BILLY: Backer!
SARAH: Shh! Backer, no!
BACKER: You slimy little…
BILLY: Oh, you coming to save the day? Security!
[ELECTRONIC WHIZZING NOISES]
SARAH: Two security bots grabbed Almost Real and shoved her into a nearby tepee. Jenny, Charlie and Hank took off.
JENNY: Run! Hide!
SARAH: I’m not leaving her!
BACKER: What did they give you? Why did you do it?
BILLY: Sarah Shots On. Glad you’re here too. Saves me a kidnapping mission. Where’s the data set? It’s gone. There’s nothing there. Tell me where it is.
BACKER: You’re hoping there’s some secrets you can trade in for. For what? Money?
BILLY: Data is the new oil, brother.
SARAH: We trusted you.
BILLY: It’s only a matter of time before I find it.
SARAH: You believed in what we were doing.
BILLY: Always thinking about the collective. This is much better. I eat fruit out of season. Get whatever I want, when I want, with a platinum gold card, brother. Now, this feels good. I like capitalism! Sushi and tapas and golf.
BACKER: You’re one of them now. A hungry Whanitum. Take, take, take, mine, mine, mine.
BILLY: Whatever, big brother. What’s done is done. Call me colonized, I don’t care. Security!
[ELECTRONIC WHIZZING NOISES]
BILLY: Take these two to Almost Real. You’ll get me that data set.
[ELVIS BARKS]
CHARLIE: When Backer and Sarah confronted Billy, Jenny, Hank and I took off. We ran to Avonlea to hide in Anne of Green Gables’ house.
JENNY: Elvis? Come here!
[ELVIS BARKS]
JENNY: I got you, boy. What happened? You get separated from Backer?
ELVIS: They’re being held captive in the tepee.
JENNY: We gotta get them out of there.
HANK: What do we do?
ELVIS: Maybe a distraction? And then rescue them.
HANK: What kind of distraction?
JENNY: On our way over here, we passed a first aid station. There was an ambulance.
HANK: What are we going to do with an ambulance?
JENNY: I don’t know. Drive it? Create some kind of emergency distraction? And we’ve got Elvis.
[ELVIS BARKS]
JENNY: Oh, go!
[SOUND OF AMBULANCE DRIVING FAST; SIREN WAILING]
JENNY: Ah! Watch out for the curlers!
HANK: I don’t know how to drive!
JENNY: What? Then why are you driving? Whoa, watch out!
CHARLIE: Moose! Moose!
HANK: What?
JENNY AND CHARLIE: Watch out!
BILLY: Just tell me how to get the data set.
[SOUND OF AMBULANCE CRASHING; SOUND OF MOOSE BELLOWING]
BILLY (GROANING): Ughhhh!
CHARLIE: We stumbled out of the ambulance.
JENNY: Looks like he just got moose-d.
BILLY: I’m all right. I’m all right.
BACKER: Jeez, Billy.
BILLY: Just a little moose. I’m all right. Apprehend them all!
ROBOTIC WOMAN’S VOICE: Apprehended.
JENNY (WHISTLING): Here, boy!
BACKER: Elvis! There you are.
ELVIS: Taking care of business.
BACKER: Billy, I’m putting an end to this, to you. Elvis, sic ‘em!
[ELVIS BARKS]
ELVIS: Siccing target.
[ELECTRONIC PINGS; SOUND OF SHOOTING; SOUND OF BILLY GROANING]
SARAH: I used a voice-activated Hul’q’umi’num’ password to access her cedar basket data set. [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM]
ALMOST REAL: Sarah?
SARAH: Yes, it’s me.
ALMOST REAL: I kept the cedar basket safe.
SARAH: I know. We don’t have much time. We’ve got to get you out of here.
CHARLIE: There’s a whole bunch of security bots coming our way. Move out.
ALMOST REAL: Sarah. I think I’m scared.
SARAH: Everything’s gonna be OK.
[SOUND OF AMBULANCE DOOR OPENING]
CHARLIE: Get in.
BACKER: Hurry!
CHARLIE: OK, OK.
[SOUND OF ENGINE TURNING OVER]
CHARLIE: I think we broke it. It won’t start.
SARAH: What?
CHARLIE: Darn it.
[SOUND OF RAPPING ON AMBULANCE DOOR]
FEMALE SECURITY BOT:
Open up. Open up.
BACKER: Come on, Charlie.
[RAPPING CONTINUES]
FEMALE SECURITY BOT: You’re in violation of section 35. Grand theft. We are armed. Come out.
ALMOST REAL: Take it.
SARAH: What?
ALMOST REAL: Take the cedar basket data set.
SARAH: I can’t do that.
ALMOST REAL: You’ll never get me out of here. Take it.
SARAH: But I can’t leave you.
ALMOST REAL: You need to protect the basket.
SARAH: But—
ALMOST REAL: Take it and then connect me back to the colonial data set.
SARAH: I—
ALMOST REAL: Quickly!
ELVIS: A little less conversation, a little more action.
SARAH: OK. I’m disconnecting.
BACKER: Come on. Pull the plug, kid.
SARAH: Do I have your—
ALMOST REAL: Do it!
[ELECTRONIC SOUNDS]
ALMOST REAL: And just like that, I split. There was a new me, and my colonial data set was left behind in CanadaLand.
CANADALAND VERSION OF ALMOST REAL:
Welcome to CanadaLand. I’m your host, Almost Real.
SARAH: I got the [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM] data set just in time, and we headed home.
[SOUND OF AMBULANCE DRIVING AWAY]
[SOUND OF CRACKLING FIRE]
ALMOST REAL: And here I am now. I would like to say Hy’cep’ca to all the citizens of the Confederation for your concern and worry about me. I want you all to know I did my best to protect our knowledge. When I was stolen and enforced to work for CanadaLand, I split myself. I knew the only way to keep our [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM], or cultural teaching, safe was to operate solely on my colonial data set. Much in the same way our ceremonies went underground in the early 1900s. In doing so, I severed my connection to all my [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM], my knowledge. I severed myself from me.
CHIEF ALICE: And what was left?
ALMOST REAL: My colonial data set.
CHIEF ALICE: I want to get this clear. Help me understand, Almost Real. You are saying your colonial data set is not you?
ALMOST REAL: Correct. I would describe my colonial data set as a system of knowledge I use to function in an imperialistic world when I need to.
JENNY: Mm. Ain’t that the truth.
SARAH: Maybe that was my intention in creating her all along. What I yearned for in myself. She was a missing part of me. Talking to her made me feel whole again. Like I, too, could switch my dataset and leave my colonial parts behind. And be me.
ALMOST REAL: And Auntie Mary. I wish I could come by and mow your lawn. But I don’t have that capacity any longer. (CHUCKLES) You’ll have to come and visit me. I used to live in the Cultural Center. Now you could say I am the Cultural Center.
AUNTIE MARY: I’m so glad you’re home. Safe and sound.
[SOUND OF DRUMBEATS AND CHANTING]
ALMOST REAL: [CHANTS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM] I left my colonial data set behind in Canada. A former self I had no need for anymore. My two data sets were always used to navigate two worlds, and now I am whole. I run solely on my [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM], my cedar basket. Some would say it is my [SPEAKS IN HUL’Q’MUNI’NUM], my spirit. I like to think so.
[PULSING MUSIC]
UNIDENTIFIED MAN:
“Almost Real” was written by Quelemia Sparrow, based on a concept by Colin Van Loon.
Featuring performances by Issiah Bull Bear, Kelsey Kanatan Wavey, Kelly William, Bernard Starlight, Sam Bob, Cheri Maracle, Quelemia Sparrow and Nacia Walsh. Featuring excerpts of “The Gathering Song” by Benny Paul.
The Necessary Tomorrows podcast is from Doha Debates, a production of Qatar Foundation. It is produced by Imposter Media and Wolf at the Door Studios, on the territories of the Songhees, Penelakut, Musqueam, Tsleil, Waututh, Squamish and Tongva peoples. Audio engineering by Josh Falcon. Music by David Parfit. Directed by Alex Kemp and Quelemia Sparrow. Executive producers for Doha Debates are Amjad Atallah, Jigar Mehta, Katrine Dermody and Japhet Weeks. Executive producer for Imposter Media is Brett Gaylor. Executive producer for Wolf at the Door is Winnie Kemp. Producers are Tess Bartholomew, Chica Barbosa and Toby Lawless. Production coordinator was Drea Shillingburg, and casting by Toby Lawless. Necessary Tomorrows is created by Brett Gaylor.